Dear Eggsperts–My husband and I have been trying to get pregnant for over a year now. I’ve been tracking my periods and used ovulation test kits, so I know we are having sex at the right time. I know we should probably see a fertility specialist at this point. I have talked to my husband a few times and he says he’s on board, but when I try to schedule an appointment it seems like our calendars never match up. Should I just schedule the appointment myself? What if he doesn’t think there is a reason for him to get tested if he doesn’t hear it from the doctor himself? How will we know if the problem is my fault, or if it is his? Don’t some men have sperm problems that make it so they can’t get a woman pregnant?– Curious in Columbia
Dear Curious–First, we want to tell you that fertility problems are no one’s “fault.” We would never say it’s someone’s “fault” for having diabetes or high blood pressure. It’s simply a medical condition and we can treat it.
Regarding fertility, we can tell you’ve done your homework. You are correct. It is absolutely critical to have both partners tested as your physician will need to have a clear picture of any discoverable contributing cause for why it is harder for you to conceive.
- 1/3 of fertility problems are due to female factors (eggs/tubes/uterus)
- 1/3 of fertility problems are due to male factors (sperm)
- 1/5 of fertility problems are due to a combination of male and female factors
- 1/6 of fertility problems are unexplained (all testing looks normal and we don’t know why couples are having trouble conceiving)
Your Reproductive Endocrinologist would be the best to determine your diagnosis, and who better to explain it to you and your partner.
Just like there are multiple potential issues that should be evaluated for a woman’s egg and, tubes and uterus, there are multiple potential issues that should be evaluated for a man’s sperm. Fortunately, all of these can be evaluated with a single test: the semen analysis.
- Sperm count (number of sperm)
- Sperm motility (how well the sperm move in the right direction)
- Sperm morphology (shape of the sperm)
- There are a few other subtle things that will be looked at in a semen analysis and if there are issues, your doctor may do more testing or treatment for these
Now, if schedules truly don’t align for your husband to attend the appointment in person together, there are some options:
- Ask your physician’s office if you can video-call your husband during your appointment.
- Ask your husband if he has any questions he wants you to ask at the appointment. Write down his questions, be sure to ask them, and write down the answers to help you remember them.
- Take great notes to share with your husband about anything else your doctor talks about.
- Ask your doctor if they have any reading material you can share with your husband.
- Maybe your husband can schedule an appointment to be seen at a time that works for him, even if you can’t be there with him.
If you or your husband have questions about what to expect during that first appointment or wish to better understand the testing involved, feel free to check out:
We hope we met your Eggspectations—An Eggspert
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Disclaimer: All of the comments on this page are for basic information only. They are based on the opinions and expertise of the authors and are not meant to provide a substitute for medical care or specific treatment recommendations. Each person is unique and requires individualized diagnosis and treatment plans. Any specific questions should be directed to your personal healthcare provider.