Dear Eggsperts — My next-door neighbor is also going through fertility treatments. As you can imagine we’ve been comparing notes quite a bit. Lately, some of the things she is telling me about her treatment is very different than what I am being told. Funny thing is that we have the same doctor! What’s up with that? –Nosy Neighbor in New Orleans
Dear Neighbor—We hear these same thoughts and concerns from so many patients. Afterall, it is perfectly natural to want to confide in someone about your fertility trials and tribulations, particularly if you don’t feel comfortable confiding in close friends or family. The trouble with medicine is that everyone’s situation is so very unique, making it difficult to decipher the things that you may share in common with your neighbor and the things that are different. Your treatments may be different because of your uniqueness.
- For instance, let’s say your neighbor is 41, with reduced primary fertility—meaning, she’s never had a biological child, and for one reason or another has delayed starting a family and now is finding herself with diminished ovarian reserve.
- However, and quite differently, you are 29 and have an ovulatory dysfunction called Polycystic Ovarian Syndrome.
Medically speaking, your ovarian function couldn’t be more different than your neighbor’s, assuming these diagnoses were true. You may be offered different options for attempting conception and even different medications. Even if IVF treatments may be the solution to overcome both of your fertility hurdles, the way IVF is done for you may be different.
At the end of the day, know that your care team will always individualize your treatment plan. While you and your neighbor will likely have much in common, you may also have variations in your diagnosis and, as a result, differences in your care and treatment plans. We hope you will find comfort in being able to share your experiences with your neighbor, as having a support system is critical during this trying time. We will however advise to proceed with caution when attaching too much meaning to the differences between you and your neighbor’s fertility journeys.
We hope we met your Eggspectations—An Eggspert
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Disclaimer: All of the comments on this page are for basic information only. They are based on the opinions and expertise of the authors and are not meant to provide a substitute for medical care or specific treatment recommendations. Each person is unique and requires individualized diagnosis and treatment plans. Any specific questions should be directed to your personal healthcare provider.