Shopping for Sperm: The Ultimate Bumble search

Part 2: “Who” is the donor?

Dear Eggsperts–So, I took your advice and talked to my girlfriend about becoming moms. Guess what? She’s totally on board and had been having the same feelings, but was afraid to ask. We are getting ready to see the doctor soon, but we know we are going to need a sperm donor. There are so many sperm banks and so many options!! How does someone choose a sperm donor? –Ticking in Tempe

Dear Ticking—In our last post, we gave you a general overview about the things you may want to think about when picking your perfect sperm donor. We know by now you have been searching away and have realized it’s a smorgasbord of choices. Too many choices? How on this green Earth do we narrow down the choices?

Today, let’s figure out what would be your “ideal” baby made from your eggs and a sperm? This is all about personal choice. Be clear with yourself about what you are shopping for before you ever take the first look! For example, are you looking for a donor who is a match to your partner? Or, are you looking for a donor who matches your ‘ideal’ mate? Really consider this. It is important. Not to sound intimidating, but this decision may be looking at you every day for the rest of your life.

Take time in a quiet space to think about what qualities are important to you. Consider making a “dream” list. What is the “perfect” donor. Make it a freestyle exercise. Write down anything that comes to mind. Even if it sounds silly at first. Once you have a list compiled, then work to assign priority to the ‘must-haves’ and the ‘would be nice if’ characteristics. It is extremely likely you will not find a donor with all of your matches, so prepare yourself about any qualities you may be willing to negotiate away. We’ve even included a list below of common donor characteristics to help you in this exercise.

Side Note: If you are undergoing fertility treatments as a couple, you may even make this list separate from your partner, then, compare notes taking extra care to discuss any differences.

Let’s get physical! A list of common physical characteristic categories of sperm donors.

Eye color?
Hair color?
Skin tone?
Freckles?
Dimples?
Face shape?
Height?
Body Type?
Race?

Taking a deeper dive! A list of other sperm donor characteristics to think about. How much do these things matter to you?

Has this donor had other specimens that have been used and resulted in a child?
Blood type?
Education level?
Career Accomplishments?
Athleticism?
Artistic or Music inclination?
Health history?
His family health history?
Willing to meet (or not) any offspring conceived by the donated sperm? Someday?
If the clinic asks the donors to write letters, or “what I wish I could tell my recipient” notes, what do you think about what he wrote?

So, that’s the fun part. You may find several “perfect” sperm. That’s awesome, but how do we narrow it down even further? There are some medical things to think about and some logistics to think about. It gets kind of heavy, but this is a really important life decision and we don’t want to rush through it. In the next few posts, we will talk about the medical and logistic considerations that may help you narrow down your choices even further.

We hope we met your Eggspectations—An Eggspert

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Disclaimer: All of the comments on this page are for basic information only. They are based on the opinions and expertise of the authors and are not meant to provide a substitute for medical care or specific treatment recommendations. Each person is unique and requires individualized diagnosis and treatment plans. Any specific questions should be directed to your personal healthcare provider.

Part 2: “Who” is the donor?

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